Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Mercies in Disguise

I HATE failures!!! Who would love failures anyway? Of course, we would love to win in every single competition and examination.

It has been... (counting) 7 months since I have posted an article in my blog. Whoa! That is not good!

More than a year ago, I passed an interview for a nursing job in the United Kingdom. The interviewer gave me an A- in the interview saying I speak good in answering question for a young foreign nurse. I was ecstatic and in several weeks I decided to take the IELTS (International English Language Testing System). Without that much review, I took the test. I prayed hard to the Lord that this is the answer to my financial problems and of course, my desire to pursue my nursing career for good.

The exam came and I took the test. Listening, Reading, Writing and Speaking. I practiced much in reading and in listening as I thought that these were my low points. I had to take all 7 in all tests to pass the UK's standard in English. So in my mind, I thought I will be fine in writing and in speaking as I converse well and I receive good feedback in how I write my articles. So I was a little confident that I focused on the other tests. After the examination, I had this feeling that maybe I didn't make it. My tongue was tied when I had the speaking test and all I said was in one liner answers and puzzles of words for writing but I was still praying hard and hoping that God will answer my prayer.

Few months later, I received an SMS that the result was already available. I went to the center with a very heightened anxiety. Before I opened the envelope, I said, Lord, pass or fail I will still worship you. I open the envelope and in one glanced I see I got a 6.5 overall. I was silent the whole time but I was trying to think of the brighter side of the failure. I will not deny it. I was sad though.

I talked to my pastor and mentioned that I didn't make it. He said, hat it's okay. God has a better plan for you.

In the back of my mind, my lowest was writing!!! Seriously? Then speaking?! That is the reason behind I haven't written any blog articles for several months. I was frustrated that every time I try to think of a good article, there is this idea. Come on! You got your lowest score in writing! I was thinking how can I write good articles if I can't even pass a writing test; the whole English language test.

I was sad but I was still focused in serving the Lord.

A year later with my fellow nurses talking, one of them mentioned an agency that I applied and passed. He said he quit that agency because those who got in the UK went back after several months. They were promised of a 4 year contract for a working visa.

Right there and then, I realized that God indeed has the best plan for me. What if I spent thousands of pesos for the placement fee and other expenses for nothing?

Then, this made me smile.

I ponder this every now and then. God is using our failures to protect us. It may look a downfall on our end, a big failure as other people see, however, we may want to thank God for our failures. As He prepare something big and beautiful for us in the future. He knows better than we do.

You may wonder, of all the days... why did my car stopped working?!, why did it rained?!, why did I fail?! We may not understand it now as how it happened to me, but in due time you will thank the Lord for the failures you had in your life.

In my case it was for my protection and I think lesson as well that I need to review everything and I can't be confident even if I know something already. For you, it could be for you to stay grounded, maybe for you to strive hard or maybe for you to focus on what pleases the Lord.

As the Scripture says, All things work for good to those who love the Lord (Romans 8:28). This means ALL things not just good things.

Indeed, mercies in disguise.

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